is what I am.
I wrote in the last few posts that there was some major decision making happening at the career front. Well, I resigned from my job,got relieved,went home,gave tests,took interviews and I am still jobless. Inability to decide what to go for,endless confusions,preparing oneself to take up some opportunity and witnessing it slip out just when I was so close to grab it. I cried to sleep umpteen number of times not because I failed, but because I felt I deserved certain things that were grabbed off just because of there are plain idiots sitting at higher positions in organisations that are supposed to be the lifelines of an economy. People told me, not to dishearten myself,that I would have better opportunities in my kitty,that I deserve better,but deserving better should not really take off the things that you really deserved at that point of time. This evening too, I was teary-eyed for something that went wrong when I read this :
The story gave me goosebumps and taught an important lesson.
And, I realized how thankless have I been in the past few days just for the matter of some failures that almost everybody gets to face in their professional lives. It made me feel guilty for being self-centered,for cribbing over the smallest things.,Just when I realized, in this tough professional phase there are so many personal bounties I am blessed with. Parents calling me twice daily to check how am I doing,instilling faith,confidence and trust. A little sis with whom I can share my deepest fears and wildest fantasies, a dost who is always there no matter what time of the day it is, a city I know well and the comfort the place I stay gives me. I thank my stars,for not everybody gets a chance or rather the luxury to quit and decide.
I have had enough of a tensed “me”, because this is one decision I took for myself,nobody forced me or rather everybody encouraged me to move further with bigger dreams and aspirations and I now realize that nothing in life comes easy. That the struggles I face, are a part of the decision i took, and the pains I take today will promise me a happier and more satisfactory tomorrow.