Being a feminist….

I read an enticing piece on “rape culture” and I am worriedly astonished as to how right these lines from the article are.

“The worst possible thing you can call a woman is a
slut, a whore, a bitch.
The worst possible thing you can call a man is a
bitch, a pussy, a girl.
The worst thing you can call a girl is a girl.
The worst thing you can call a guy is a girl.
Being a woman is the ultimate rejection,
the ultimate dismissal of strength and power, the
absolute insult.
When I have a daughter,
I will tell her that she is not
an insult.

I am actually shocked by the revelation in these lines.There are certain things I have been hearing throughout my growing years :

“Stop crying like a girl”

“We have raised our daughters like sons”

“Being brought up in household with only sisters as siblings, he was also under the same restrictions that were imposed on his sisters, and so, explains his *girl like behavior* today”

“Be careful, there is a woman driving a car just behind”

How multiple conversations in a single day can become examples of gender discrimination and that people do not realize how difficult it becomes to make the ideas of feminism clear to those who may not mean to be gender biased but there “so called” statements absolutely put the other gender *read masculine” to be of a greater importance . I have friends, family and colleagues who absolutely agree that such statements mean no harm and that my feminist attitude is way too much for them to handle. Very less number of people actually care to understand that making such statements actually shows that you believe that females are weak, timid and as the above lines from the article say, “are an insult”,Really!

I do agree that in a patriarchal society, it requires a lot of strength, maturity and confidence to think apart and take a stand for bringing in changes to the social set-up,but, these are no acts of godly magnificence.

The concept of feminism is not about the greatness of womanhood, rather it is about similarity,balance and fairness,and, to make people understand that,

It is actually alright to not give your seat to a female in a bus, but it is not, to offer them a seat and pass lewd remarks on some or the other female walking on the street

It is not a big deal that you “allow” your wife to work, working out of home is way of life for you as well as for her, there is nothing too liberal about you if you help your wife in kitchen and take care of your kids. It is just that you take equal responsibility.

To not accept dowry or ask for it is no act of benevolence and it is just about believing in the right thing to do.

Glorifying womanhood and portraying a woman as the ultimate example of endurance and love is a myth, rather she is a human being who is equally susceptible to anger and impatience.

Cooking, cleaning and house keeping is the responsibility of all the people who stay in a house, and if a woman does not know how to cook or clean, doesn’t make them a lesser human being.

And  being a feminist has been and will always be and just about equality.

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3 thoughts on “Being a feminist….

  1. Once when I was interning, one of my co-interns made a remark that one should stay away from feminists because they are man haters. I was so shocked to hear this and retorted a little aggressively that feminism is not anti-thetical to chauvinism. The latter stands for the superiority of men over women, however the former stands for equality between men and women. As a student of feminist jurisprudence, and having read a large number of surveys on men’s behavior I believe that this attitude of the patriarchal society is here to stay. And, we can hope to diminish it from the society but it can never be fully uprooted.

  2. Wow. Its right and I agree.

    Two or three months back, I started asking questions myself about this gender bias and found the book “Delusions of Gender”, by “Cordelia Fine”, an Australian psychologist. She says that this is just a stereotype threat and it is in mind and the evolution from the past, nothing more or less. I have to finish the book, just read 40% of it so far.

    “Glorifying womanhood and portraying a woman as the ultimate example of endurance and love is a myth, rather she is a human being who is equally susceptible to anger and impatience.” … Well said, initially I firmly believed that a woman shows more empathy and compassion than a man, Cordelia says (with studies) its not. (Though still some psychologists claim against it)

    Just thought of sharing, nothing more. 🙂

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